i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
