Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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