You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
