I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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