i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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