New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize