You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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