So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I still have a little drunk in my system
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
