so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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