haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is wine microwaveable?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
