How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
