It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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