If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
