so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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