i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
