Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Operation Purity has been aborted
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I need to sanitize my soul.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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