Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
