The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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