im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
