Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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