i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
love makes seman taste better
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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