so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
