When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
