I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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