My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
