i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
