Where did you get a picture of my penis
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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