On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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