i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize