Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
