she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
