I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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