Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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