just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He better not be in your backpack
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
