She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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