once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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