Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
