no, he came in my armpit
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize