I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
