Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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