Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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