Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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