I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
