is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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