May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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