Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
