i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize