She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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