How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
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Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
