Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
