I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
as a side note pls kill me
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
