Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize