just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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