It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
