How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm getting married
To pizza
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
