I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
