I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
