i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
