Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
