Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
