How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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