Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
