i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
