wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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