I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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