The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
