His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
