Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
