I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
