? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
