What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
