I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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