wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
