Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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